Cid Highwind V.S. Palmerzilla!!!
by Trance Cid Highwind
Summary: What would happen if Cid and his friends were to fight a giant Palmer? Read, Review, and find out!
1. Chapter 1

Cid Highwind V.S. Palmerzilla!!!!  
  
Chapter 1  
  
It was a quiet day in Rocket Town. Life was usually the same there after the terror of Sephiroth and Meteour was over and done with. Cid Highwind, his mechanics, and engineers were always busy everyday working on the new Shinra No: 27 Rocket. He wanted to feel what it was to be like in space, and with no interruptions or problems. Sure he went into space once before but that was only at an emergency when he, Cloud, and the others had to acchive the Huge Materia from Shinra. Anyways, Cid was still his same old self, swearin' over something major or meaningless, keepin' his smoking habit alive, and always barking orders at the occasionally clumsy Shera, his assistant. So all was going well until Cid needed something...   
  
  
"SHERA!!! How many times have I told you to get me some &@!$^% tea!!! You're slower than molasses on a damn tree!" "I'm sorry captain, but its just that I'm preparing dinner for the head of the Space Program so he can discuss on how funds can be given for your rocket" Shera commented. Cid paused at this and then lost his temper. "Ah... Dammit!" Not that fatman Palmer, all he'll do is probably comment on how we have the best lard to put in his damn tea!" "Well if you want to have the rocket complete all we have to do is sign the Shinra 100% trust guarantee contact in order to get the funds for the rocket" sighed Shera. Cid just calmed down and said "Fine, fine but if he messes this deal up, I'm gonna take my Venus Gospel and shove it up his fatass!" Cid then walked out of his house and went back to the rocket, puffing on another ciggarate before getting back to work.  
  
  
A few hours later fatman Palmer arrived at Rocket Town with a few Shinra executives at his side. "Hey hey, I hope that they have my special " green sugar lard tea ready!" chuckled Palmer. He knocked Cids door at his house and was greeted by Shera. Cid was on the couch watching T.V. waiting until he was ready for the discussion over dinner. However, when he tried to go through the door he was stuck. It seemed that the blubberball gained more weight. So after an hour of trying to get him free by pushing him through, he finally was loose, but stumbled forward and his face landed on the giant cheery pie Shera made. It splattered all over the damn house and all over the food on the dinner table, as well as on Cid's face. "I guess you just ruined dinner fatman." Cid grumbled as he wiped his face off with a rag. "Don't say fat!!!" Palmer whined. So after cleaning up the mess, Cid, Shera, Palmer, and the executives sat down with the contract on the table. Before any discussion had begun, Palmer perked up " Ohhh, I want some tea, and don't forget the lard!!" Shera got up and was starting to make the tea. However, what Shera didn't notice was that there was some mako juice in the "Shinra custom made lard" she bought from the store...   
  
When Shera was done making the tea, she brought it over to the shloppy gooman. Palmer immediately took a sip. All of a sudden however, something went horrably wrong. Palmer's body was blowing up like a balloon, only that he didn't stop growing, he just got fatter and taller. "What the %&%! is going on!! Cid shouted. He took his Venus Gospel with him and ran out of the house with Shera. The house exploded due to Palmer constantly growing. Cid took a ciggarate and smoked it, who was astonished by this shocking site of horror. "Son of a bitch... what are we going to do now!? Believe it or not, Palmer was already 250 feet tall and a giant ball of goo when he stopped growing. "Hey Hey, I'm all big and strong, look at how much I have grown!" Palmer chuckled loudly. "C'mon Shera! We gotta go warn the others!" Cid and Shera hopped in the Highwind and flew off and away from the marvelous giant...   
  
  
To be continued...   
  



	2. The Self-Proclaimed Hero's Appearance

Cid Highwind V.S. Palmerzilla!!!   
  
Chapter 2  
  
By Trance Cid Highwind   
  
Cid and Shera were flying south over the mountains to get to Nibelheim to go get help from his three friends, Cloud, Tifa, and Aeris. AN: (I'm keeping her alive in this story, like it or not.) The problem is, however, would they even believe his story? After all, telling them that a giant Palmer terrorizing Rocket Town and possibly the entire planet would make him look like he would need to be locked up in an insanity ward. Plus, there was no way anyone of his friends would find out this was happening in Rocket Town for all of its communication was quickly destroyed by the fatman.  
  
Cid also thought out that he would most likely need all of his allies to fight this monstrosity and possibly the Shinra Army as well. All this thinking made Cid make his head racked and he felt like he needed another cigarette. So he went up to the top deck to think and relax. More questions rattled his brain on how to handle the problem. How would he return Palmer to normal size. Or better yet, killing him would probably be easier anyway. Then again, would Shinra need him back? Nahh... they didn't like him anyway. The only reason they hired the fatass was because they desperately needed someone to fill in the empty space for the President of the Space Program. All he ever does is have people do his own work for him by paying them off while he just sits there eating countless boxes and cases of donuts, pork rinds, and the like.   
  
Finally Cid couldn't take it any longer. He yelled out with all his might and rage: "I NEED SOME HELP DAMMIT!" "HELP AGAINST... THIS... FATASS!!!" Cid then heard a voice from nowhere. "Did somebody say help?" the voice echoed. Cid was puzzled and said to the mysterious voice. "You the &@%! are you and where are you?! "I am right here!!!" the heroly soundly voice boomed. Cid turned around and saw a lanky looking man in a red suit with a white cape. The front of the suit had the symbol of a meteour on it. He looked like a total dork to Cid. Cid replied, who are you and and how did you get up on my ship? "I am METEO MAN!!" said the self-proclaimed hero ignoring Cid's question. "Yeah, yeah, the pilot said, now move out offa my ship!" Cid impatiently replied.  
  
Meteo Man wouldn't listen. Cid just wouldn't take anymore of his B.S. "But wait!" I can cast the legendary spell of all time, METEOOOOOOO!!!" Cid then took out his spear threatingly and walked towards him and hollered: "Shut your trap and get off of my ship before I boost jump you one!" Meteo Man just would not listen. "My Meteo spell can do all of wonders plus..." It was too late. Cid leaped in the air and thrusted diagonally towards him, knocking him off the deck. "UAUGH! "How could you!?", he said nerdishly. "You need MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE......!!! he cried as he fell thousands and thousands of feet down through the open skies. Cid sat on the deck relaxing and calming down until he saw Shera come up to the open deck. "Captain, I heard some of your usual rantings and ravings, who were you yelling at?" The Captain hoisted himself up and calmly told Shera, no one in particular, no one in particular...   
  
Cid went down to the lower deck of the Highwind where the pilots were soon preparing to land near the peaceful town of Nibelheim...   
  
  
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	3. Tifa V.S. Aeris!!!

Its been over a year since I updated this story. Please Read and Review when you're done!  
  
Chapter 3  
  
  
  
Cid Highwind had landed in Nibelheim after he finished off the self- proclaimed hero, which he didn't know who the hell he was or why he acted like such a complete fairy. Anyways, Cid took out his brand of ciggarates and took a smoke. As always Shera told him it was never safe to smoke, but why bother when it's hopeless to turn back ever since Cid got hooked on them at 10 and always had them at his side.  
  
He arrived at Cloud's new house where, just as he suspected, Aeris and Tifa were having another fight again. "I'll show you who's special to mah man!" Aeris slurred. Ever since they revived Aeris after the Planet was saved, it had some devastating side effects on Aeris' mind and body. It always made her a complete drunk and wreck. Tifa was getting annoyed and wondered why Cloud ever let Aeris live here in the first place. Cid had been watching this all along, knowing that a fight was about to start, but Tifa always won because she has cool martial art skills and Aeris has only a staff and a "slap attack" which Aeris made up.  
  
"BlarG!!!" Aeris hacked. "I'll shut yoo up yoo dirty lil' slut!!" Tifa was outraged. Aeris has called her lots of things but the drabby bitch just went too far. "You. BITCH!!" Tifa proclaimed. Cid then went to the cooler and grabbed a beer ready to watch the show about to begin. "Haw! What are yoo gunna do, slut. I'm uh a princess and yoo can't hurt princesses! Tifa then simply walked over to where Aeris was mouthing her, punched her hard and Aeris let out a "EEEEEEEEAAAAA!!!"! as she fell out of the second story window!!  
  
Tifa dusted off her hands and turned out to notice Cid and see him laughing. "Hey Cid!" Tifa said cheerfully. "What do you need?" Cid then returned to serious and told him about the situation with Palmer the Fat- Ass. "Is Spikey anywhere?" Cid asked. "Yes he is said Tifa." He's been having nightmares up in his room. "He says Sephiroth is haunting him. Anyways we have to go get him and tell him the news!" 


End file.
